How They Became Her

Here is a story I often tell about how I changed my pronouns, so I thought it’s of interest for a wider audience. Also I don’t have to tell it anew so often, I can just point to this blog entry 😅.

Out of respect for the transgender experience of the person concerned, I will continue to speak in the female form.

She does this even for nonbinary clients, because adhering to the binary narrative is known to cause less problems with health insurances. When I made a first appointment with my ADHD specialist, he asked for a referral letter from the therapist, because she recommended to see an ADHD specialist. The letter started with the same preamble.

So when I was called into the doctor’s office, he called me by “Ms Dr Göbbels” (in Germany honorifics are used in addition to any titles). He did so, because that’s what he learned from the letter.

I thought: “Wait, this is not correct! But it feels surprisingly good …”

So I let him continue to use Ms as honorific and she/her in all forms of communication. Nobody else in my life did so. I waited for two or three appointments and the fuzzy warm feeling didn’t go away. Since that time I sticked with she/her.

I also silently (or so I thought) changed my pronouns on the company slack. On the same day I ha a meeting with a trans colleague.

“So, how do the new pronouns feel?”
“You noticed?!?”
“Certainly I did.”

💜